(Cha, 2010). A secondary guest of honor often brings a basket containing two cooked chickens, a piece of chicken liver, and golden joss paper to honor the deceased. (2010). Tie this string on a loved ones hand to bless the individual to find love and serve as a reminder to love all. A number of roles are important to the funeral process. The groom must offer money to the woman's parents in order to pacify tensions, and the parents usually do not settle for a small amount. During these four days, women areintensively cooking and serving food/drinks orcomforting close relatives of the deceased. However, the maykong will often invite the rest of the people to join them in eating. Be prepared to follow the familys lead. Hmoob Cultural and Community Agency, Inc (HCCA) 1815 Ward Avenue La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 781-5744 Fax: (608) 781-5011 Hours: Monday - Thursday: 9:00 A.M. - 4:30 P.M. Friday: 9:00 A.M. - 12:00 P.M. Monday & Friday : Close Tuesday & Thursday: 9:00 A.M. - 4:00 P.M. Wednesday: 12:00 P.M. - 4:00 P.M. STAFF CONTACT INFORMATION The ceremony of tying strings at its' best is done during weddings, graduations, birthdays, or other elaborate celebrations. Hmong people believe in tying strings for blessing, luck and even protection. Do not talk negatively or about negative things. Khi Tes is a Blessing String Hand Tying Ceremony and it is exactly what it sounds like. The golden joss paper, folded into a heart and attached to a branch or stick, is a traditional funeral offering for the deceased. The traditional Hmong drum is often beat and the Hmong flute known as the "qeej" is played. The funeral procession follows, carrying a casket or open stretcher containing the body. (Fi xov) When the bride arrives at the grooms house, the head of the household will perform ablessing ritual for the ancestors to ask them to accept her into the household. Additionally, if the body faces east, it may be blinded by the sun. The traditional wedding ritual begins with a groom staging a symbolic kidnapping -- keeping the bride hidden at his family house for several days while his relatives notify her parents of his intention to marry. 10. Watch. May Yang, the shaman, explains that this ceremony is the Hmong version of prenatal care. One of the oldest and most. This link will open in a new window. The first two days of a Hmong funeral are traditionally when guests stop by to offer, Gifts, cards, flowers, and other presents, A hand-written and heartfelt card, or flowers with a. attached, is almost always appreciated. Once you take a seat, stay for the entiretyof the wedding. This is the way in which Hmong parents usually wish in which their daughter will be married off, and it is viewed as bringing honor to the family. I know she doesn't care if I give her money or not, but I feel that if I'm going to attend I should at least know what to expect. If youre preparing to attend a Hmong funeral, you might be intimidated by the many rituals and traditions. A funeral of this length means that the deceased is a well-respected person and has lived a wonderful life. The family and negotiators then begin a blessing ritual to ask the ancestors to accept the bride into the household, a process which is followed by feasts prepared by the family. At the end of the three-day long funeral, the deceased person is buried and all of the decorations made of paper money are burned so that the deceased person will go to a new place with the resources necessary for a comfortable life. This is traditionally only a symbolic kidnapping: the girl is allowed to refuse to go. During this time, all of the family members sit around thetxiv xaivwhile he tells them the words from their deceased loved one. After this ritual, the groom and the best man return to the table and finish the last round of drinks. If youre attending the Hmong funeral of a friend, feel free to offer any gift that feels suitable to you. Their faith is focused on the reincarnation of a persons soul in the next life. The funeral procession follows, carrying a casket or open stretcher containing the body. Other acceptable gifts for a Hmong funeral include food and donations to help cover funeral costs. The bride is not allowed to visit anyones house for three days after this. When entering into a funeral home, you may see lots of heart-shaped and circular-shaped memorials made from the paper money, money that is of no use to humans but is valuable in the afterlife. On the final day, the family performs a xi. For media inquiries, please contact James Stephen Smith, Director of Media Relations at 718-990-5789 (o), 516-313-4568 (m); or at smithj8@stjohns.edu. Once the proposal happens, no matter what the format, the grooms family approaches the brides family to let them know that their daughter is with the grooms family. The rites will take place in a community center, funeral home, or family home. Cake values integrity and transparency. Now you can focus on leaving a legacy instead of a mess. Women who have previously been married can become married again, but they cannot have another extensive and elaborate wedding. Learn about the symbolism and meaning of the black umbrella in Hmong weddings, the siv ceeb, mej koob, and other interesting details about the traditional marriage process, and its modern adaptations. Even if no tears develop, they must make the sounds of crying, for this shows respect for the deceased. The Hmong people believe that anyone who doesnt receive the proper funeral rites will be lost, destined to wander the afterlife alone for all of eternity. Board of Directors; Department Overview; International Distributors; Management Team; Vision, Mission Statement & Core Values; History. Ceremonies go for at least 24-hours straight and the deceased continue to be covered with . Depression, disease, and death can occur as a result of one or more of these souls becoming isolated. 7. The elders are the ones who do the wedding negotiations and plans for the couple. They also set a price on the bride at this time. Hu Plig (calling the soul). This ornate golden heart is often made with various colors of joss paper. What is the most common way to get married? The drummer and qeej (a type of bamboo instrument) player perform multiple ceremonial songs throughout the day. 58 graduates earned a perfect 4.0 cumulative grade point average. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service Wedding chants are performed by the maykong at every stage throughout the rest of the wedding. After the three days of mourning described above, a Hmong funeral procession will prepare a body for its journey. AnUnusualPath.com, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). As with many weddings in Asian cultures, traditional Hmong weddings are handled by the family and are intricately pre-planned or determined by ancestry, last name lineage, the value of the female/bride, and gifts to the brides family. Divorce was rare in traditional Hmong society, however it is becoming more prevalent in westernized Hmong communities. Funeral flowers are acceptable as well. Those blessed families who received the engagement and the Blessing at the same time should, by establishing a true family, attend God, and in the position of true parents liberate the resentment of all things. Some couples have two ceremonies -- one traditional, and one modern (to make it legal). Ritual ceremonies are performed for the reason of pleasing the ancestral spirits. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure. The brides family will give her three sets of new clothes and food for the journey to her new home. Afterward, the pregnant woman and her family prepare for a feast. There are four main parts to a traditional Hmong wedding: the bride and groom come together, the bride is inducted into the groom's family on the third morning of their union, there is an exhausting wedding at the bride's home, and the wedding concludes with the groom's family. After the burial, the 13-day mourning period begins. There are theniam ua mov, literally "women who cook." We burn this money on the day of the burial. We cook a lot of food, invite family, a shaman performs the blessing ceremony and everyone ties a white string around her and our wrists to wish is luck in life and give Lillian gifts (money). I find it beautiful how much support our culture has on family and the bond that ties everyone together. Hmong weddings start off at the brides family house then transfer over to the grooms family house. Brainstorm with your funeral director, event planner, or religious leader to help you figure out the logistics or any limitations. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake, forms. Read more, When a family member falls ill, the head of a household calls upon a local shaman, who determines the cause of that family members illness in what is called anua neeb. Thank you! Legends and Myths; They made everything possible that is used during a wedding including the rules and chants. Accept, Funeral rites are a cornerstone of the Hmong faith and culture. (Cha, 2010). The family members are required tonyiav, to mourn for the deceased. 7. Blessed with a great number of relatives, it was a guarantee that there was bound to be someone celebrating a joyous milestone also referred to as Khi Tes in the Hmong culture. The extended family takes responsibility for pre-funeral preparations and hosting the funeral. A messenger is then sent to the house of the bride's parents in order to inform them that their daughter has gotten married. Khi Tes is a Blessing String Hand Tying Ceremony and it is exactly what it sounds like. Tie this string on a loved ones hand to bless his or her life withendless laughter. Hmong funeral rites are elaborate and meaningful, and they must be performed correctly. The daughter did this and was married off. The widow is permitted to remarry, in which case she would have two choices: she may marry one of her husbands younger brothers/ younger cousins (never to the older brothers) or she can marry anyone from the outside clan (beside her own). The maykong then sit at a table and three rounds of drinks are ordered for formalities, and then the negotiations begin. Relatives are often asked to slaughter a cow. 1. This is the best time to stop by and pay your respects as a non-family member. After these three days, the family removes the body from the home, while the, player plays a ceremonial Song of Mounting the Way., As the procession makes its way to the gravesite, the musicians play the Departure Song or, . (Cha, 2010) (See section The Engagement). Our culture believes in spirits and that every person, whether unborn, born, alive or not, forever has one. Shamanism is a way to maintain communication with the spiritual world. Loss is hard. 3 days after birth, the family calls the spirit again, just for the baby this time, to ensure the baby's safe arrival to our world. What is involved with "bringing a wife home"? A Hmong funeral may sound complicated and intimidating to an outsider. . The groom's family approaches the bride's family and asks her parents for her hand in marriage. This is more substantial than the bride and groom only exchanging vows, for it shows the level of the union between the two entire families. Your email address will not be published. The maykong's have an important role of smoothing things over before a wedding can take place. The ceremony can be held for both sad times and happy times. Whats Right for You? Hmong weddings are taken seriously within the Hmong community. The resident maykong will place five equal piles of money in each corner and in the middle of the table. The traditional songs include "Song of Mounting the Way" and "Departure of the Deceased," which are played on a special instrument called a qeej.The qeej is made of bamboo, which is, believed to be the first plant on earth. Dont try to push conversation about the deceased, but dont shy away from it, either. However, being that we live in the US, it is quite difficult for us to find a balance between the two. The Hmong people live primarily in southern China and Southeast Asia, including Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, and Myanmar, and large communities of refugees and immigrants have formed around the world. It does not matter if she agrees, and once she enters the man's house there is no going back. 2. Truly, there is little work for wedding planners in a traditional Hmong wedding. The Navajo have a saying, "whatever happens here on Earth must first be dreamed", and that's exactly what a Blessingway does. One last round of drinks sends the guests home. The elder in charge of hosting the funeral then divvies up the cooked food items to serve to guests. If you must leave, find a replacement. Can you please give me some advice? Hmong Traditional Funeral Often, the shaman sits or jumps repeatedly on a bench while playing a bell like instrument. (Cha, 2010). Ta sits up front with wife Yai. The next day, a celebration at the bride's parents' home takes place and a large pig is usually slaughtered. A live chicken is tied by up by its feet and stuffed in a bag, awaiting to be sacrificed for the spirit. Throughout the first and second days of the funeral, guests arrive in large numbers to honor the deceased and mourn with the family. 3. The Hmong New Year celebrationspecifically based on both religious and cultural beliefsis an "in-house" ritual that takes place annually in every Hmong household. Then his family follows, and must ask . When this happens, the groom's maykong will have to perform chants and drink in order to be granted entranceinto the bride's family's home. It ends with the groom and best man consuming drinks from every member of the bride's family. Drink when it is your turn to drink and avoid stalling. The family has to agree to the marriage and and previous feuds have to be settled in order for a couple to marry. Rituals performed by the head of the household "in honor of the ancestral spirits" are for individual benefits which are usually done during Hmong New Year celebrations. The second day of a Hmong funeral is the day of offerings, or qhua txws. We managed to squeeze in the state fair early in the morning then headed off to purchase everything else. A typical Hmong funeral lasts for three days and nights. The qeej player then leads the way to the cemetery, followed by a woman carrying a torch. It also symbolizes protection from natural elements and evil spirits as the bride travels to and from the ceremony. Maybe youve seen them at weddings in the past, wrapped in bright black-and-white striped ribbon, and wondered where the tradition got its start! If just the husband wants to divorce his wife without any firm grounds, the husband will have to come up with some money to send the wife back to her family with all the children, as the husband will be the one choosing to leave the household. The family then buries the body, traditionally on the side of a mountain, facing west. The soul then dresses in its placental jacket and travels to reunite with ancestors. Throughout the ceremony, the shaman's husband burns pieces of paper money as offerings to the spirits. 5 Traditional Hmong Ceremonies You Need to Know. On the third day, the bride is expected to start work and a ceremony is held to induct her into the family. However, as a guest, you dont have to know every detail of a Hmong funeral. The traditional ceremony, performed by Hmong elder Gnia Vue Lor (Nea Voo Lor) calls attention the past year and calls forth a new year filled with new blessings. After bringing the deceased person back to their birthplace, the dead will speak to thetxiv xaiv.

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