I feel as though I cant breathe, like it smothering me. I dont know many widows that are my age, Im 60. every day is a challenger i hate waking up in the morning, I do try to go out and see friends but it really doesnt help, Im not sure how much longer I can continue like this, it has to get a little better I can only hope. I cant see how to live like this; no future. She was my momma & my best friend. i am approaching the second year since my wife died unexpected she went to visit our son and died of a brain aneurysm non his front lawn- Married 36 years- every day is a struggle and as busy as i try to be having two children in their thirties i still feel so lonely when i am alone at bedtime, it is inconceivable that i can be happy again. Mike agreed to go on another one of my adventures. At the end of the dream he touched my shoulder and said he was ok with what I was now doing (I wont go into details about that), but, to be cautious of how I was spending my money. So, I knew he was not mad at me only concerned that I take care of myself and to make wise monetary decisions. The pain is physical even as I start into year 3 without him. Its been 5 months for me though. I dont have any desire to socialize and I also have my dogs and the one that my husband lived so much just lies on the couch and looks out the door like he is expecting to see him come home. Most days are normal; Im dating a wonderful man who also understands grief, because he lost his twin to murder 10 yrs ago, and Ive seen it hit him hard on his brothers wedding anniversary. The pain was so great. Part of my life. I knew that I wouldnt have been able to save them. My younger brother spent his birthday on our sisters funeral. We had 19 beautiful years together and 3 children the youngest being 10. Even though it has been a long time, it's still hard to believe that she's gone!. He died in hospice and seeing him in a comma 9 days, and finally passing on still plays in my mind. Holidays were never that great for me as my ex husband of 17 yrs left day before Xmas. im old hahahaha The first year was filled with a kind of silliness, overall weirdnessi guess from shock..i was busy with the estate stuff and running around getting the legal things done i had to do. No this wont return the lost love in your life or change your story. I new I had to cope for them and my own sanerty. Holly, I lost my wife early last year. but it is quickly approaching. I believe this because of my faith. Im so sorry J. I know that feeling of panic that you might forget something and lose it forever. Its been little over seven months. This is good to know. You never forget, you just learn how to deal with the pain and heartache. We get together once or twice a week and have made no plans for a future together. Seek family, friends or local grief help. He was 45, and had suffered no symptoms until is was far too late. [Verse] It's been nine months since you passed away Exactly nine months, nine months today It hasn't got easy, nothing's numbed the pain From time to time, I still call you by mistake I still . I know a lot of you, whether you met her or not, loved Beemo very much and so I wanted to share the video with you . I pray for you and your recovery! I have not had a single day without tears since she was diagnosed.Yes, just over 18 months. My heart still beats, but my mind is not into anything. I just had another cry and heart wrenching moment after 1 year and 10 months. I really like your attitude to life despite your huge loss. Its not like I was a trusting person before; now its even less so the case. Oh Jennifer I read your words and its like me talking, I feel with you. I thought the second year would be easier. Im just beginning my second year after losing my husband of 50 years. You said it for me. A bomb went off in our home and hearts. But, I had to stop after his death & I was sick. This happen to me. So I dont open to her, she has a lot of anger, which doesnt help me at all. Im very depressed and have terrible anxiety which makes my grieving even worse, Ive read through everyones posts and i can see i am not alone but in my world I am. How to Help Someone With Grief After a Sudden Death - The New York Times I dont have a single friend in the same boat so it can get lonely even in a crowd. Never to forget the wonderful years that you shared. It has been 6 months since the first dog's death, Nugget. It is definitely worse now than at the beginning, I was numb for a long time, but now i am exposed and raw, and I can cry for England. Honest quotes about grief: Tonight. "The bad news is time flies. My husband died 15 months ago as a result of a hiking accident. Be patient with yourself. i thought i was getting a bit better getting on with things and losing the 3 stone i put on. Im in a dead end relationship and basically just exist. I pray the memories of her life will last forever. A battle every day to overcome his heart disease with swollen limbs from heart failure. She too is an amazing person and as much as I know we shouldnt make comparisons, she has the same qualities I found in my wife. It took at least a year to realize that the evidence I would get was the fact I held on to him. Never happy. why 5 months later, Im still stunned and grieving! Im now looking forward to my next few months. The truth that I was hurt and have been hurt for a while. For now, I think we should go with the flow and if we feel sad and listless, it is completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of, we are grieving, we are mourning, we are entitled to a self pity party, our landscape has completely changed, He was my first father daughter dance, he was in the room when I was born, I lived with him and my mom for the first four years of my life. But for now, that seems unlikely because when I dare to look out, all I see is the hazy, drab-blue sameness an endless ocean. That is due to family saying their final goodbyes, and now Im planning what next with my life. I dont think Ive really dealt with this. Then put off the blue, he had a seizure that led to the diagnosis of a brain tumour, which we were later told was inoperable and high grade. It's been one year since we lost [name of person who passed]. On May 28th I came home from work and found my husband had passed in his easy chair. 2. He was doing well until a infection set in eventually going to his brain. I am do sorry, please know you are not alone! I just felt he was near. Your email address will not be published. She died at the age of six from a 1 in a million chance disorder called fires. I dont know what to think. And, cry most of the time. Itll be 2 years in August since my husband passed away and my life has changed forever.I long to join him but know I have to keep going one step at a time one breath at a time. I felt I should have paid more attention and have found the money to pay for the tests that would have shown he needed medical treatment. Blessings to you all and I pray that your suffering is eased a little each day and replaced with memories and blessings of joy. I am in agreement with so many of you, my husband, soulmate, lover, best friend of 36 years went into his deep sleep on 04 January 2017. Always butterflies. Most of the time things are ok but every now and then Ill have a day thats just a throwback to the original date. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. Days and feel so alone at times afraid to speak of my grief people telling me I should be fine. I hv a beautiful daughter, but I want her 2 live, not burdened w/my emotions. He had pancreatic cancer, and had 9 months to live after his diagnosis. I Lost My Mom 12 Years Ago. Thanks to all that spoke about their feelings of a great loss. I find its a song, film or similar that sets me off & the relentless Covid media stuff, & it all sets me off crying. Its heart breaking One of our dogs (Milo) a king Charles took a stroke two months before and died. I do things everyday by myself now and its very painful, part of me is gone and will never get it back. but just lately especially coming up to xmas memories are coming too me all the time. She said if Im going to die. Use the DATEDIF function when you want to calculate the difference between two dates. Nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared me for the grief-slog of these past 14 months. My husband died in Feb 18 after 3 years struggle with multiple system atrophy. I decided that Wichita was not for me. I will say all the craziness going on in the world and especially in the U.S. where the nightmares and fear continues with daily presidential tweetsa distraction I wish I didnt havebut a distraction from grief none the less. Rest in peace dad." "Our love for you is as strong as ever, Dad. I try to do things volunteering etc.but I feel numb to everything. There is no right or wrong, but while I have always been decisive, I now find myself unsure. Thanks for hearing me. The first 6 months I lost my faith and was very angry , then veering to its all pontless. I just cant believe hes gone. I dont have no desire to date. I dont want to go anywhere but have to. I was able to bury him next to his father. This is my first time reading all the posts. I can hardly read through all my tears for me and for everyones post were not alone. My dad passed away Mar2016. He left me 2 dogs, one pregnant one. He was sick for 6 months and then passed. July 9,2016, As a Result Colon cancer.We were married for 31. We where married for 29 years. Lewis, 23 years old at the time, was the youngest "Big Six" leader to address the thousands-strong demonstration. I just want to be gone too. The pain wont shrink, so I have to grow. I dont want it and I envy those who die soon after their loved spouse passes. Boys seeing so sad. The Lord is working on that companions heart as we speak, and that person is trying to prepare themselves for a crossroads convergence with your heart. Im sorry. How to Recover and Find Strength after Losing a Parent - Tiny Buddha When I see couples together, I miss him even more, but I talk to God to help me get through the mental sadness, Stay well- youre not alone. Im not suicidal, but I really dont care if I go on living, or not. I didnt get to tell him while looking into his eyes that I loved him so much and him the same with me I wish I could hear him say to me just one more time how much he loved me so. Fighting for Surviving life minute by minute. I dont know whether to clarify dads gf is wrong or just to hold her. Im exactly where you are right now! It can be so isolating. So it is a major move, but I am waiting until the end of the year or beginning 01-01-19 to make sure it is for the right reasons. Finally I want to say thank you to the lady whose post mentioned being in Lowes and becoming so frustrated that she left. He had choked on an Arbys roast beef sandwich. Then dealing with all the aftermath of it all its like i went into a different mental mode. Then my husband., He was my best friend. I spent the first year in tears, confusion, shock, and disbelief. I dream of him every night and wake up and think he is with me. There is such sadness and emptiness. I really just hate living now. I so feel everyones painandI am so sorry, Dear Holly Just read your email and do know how you feel I as with my Husband for 59years Married for 56 of them he passed away just over a year ago, We said we would be around till we were 90 as we were never ill really enjoyed good health, Then he wasnt well one night and went to Hospital and a junior Doctor used a wrong catheter and after that he was never the same and a year later he died. And then it did happen. I cant believe Ill never see her again or discuss personal issues, deep and meaningful comvos or lighthearted banterJust get through the day..It has helped reading your experiences. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. The finality of it all. I am living in France and English is my second langue. I know your husband is with you in spirt. I totally understand, I also had to make this decision 2 years ago for my baby sister who I was caregiver of. I dont really like the person I am at the moment, but am hopeful Ibwill feel more complete, When my husband was ill and I spent a lot of time stressed and worried, I told a friend that previously my life had been like a bracelet of pearls, but now the pearls were interspersed with pebbles, no more complete happiness. I too, was 54 and now in my second year of grief. And youll survive them too. I am still suffering terribly, but I find moments, sometimes hours and days where I am at peace. 1st 6 months was a blur whilst I navigated other peoples concern and my childs own grief. Sending love and hugs to you all put there. I lost my Mum on the 2nd of February last year. 7 Steps for Managing Grief and Loss - Mayo Clinic News Network I am at peace with him being gone, I just miss him like none other. married for nearly 35 years and even though I have a Dont put timelines on your grief! Trust me it was subside eventually and youll talk about it less frequently until you almost stop. I wish the pain would subside more on some days than others. I can talk to them. Calculate the difference between two dates. Our hope is in Heaven. Nursed and cared for him at home right to the very end. One day at a time I am so apologetic for your loss sweetheart, Hi Holly that came with her struggle. I went to grief counseling along with my youngest Son who was 13 at the time and Patricia, your comments hit home. But I have many things I need to do first before then. Time helps but its not a healer it helps you learn how to deal with your loss and acceptance helps a lot. I just found a counselor that I will see the end of July. You've opened my eyes to see what it all means. But it doesn't know you will always live in my memory. I am lost and have no confidence anymore. She made it 7days. "Time flies, whether you're wasting it or not.". well lo and behold, who knew the second year would be a living nightmare. I cry more and I need to shift from my lovely house. IR-2022-65, March 23, 2022 Even though the Internal Revenue Service issues most refunds in less than 21 days for taxpayers who filed electronically and chose direct deposit, some refunds may take longer. Lost. I dont know when either of us will find hope or joy again. I was married for 54 years and the care taker for my Mike. I am now dating someone Ive known for 40 yrs. Maybe. Intense emotional pain and sorrow, sometimes with anger and bitterness. 17 months since I lost my beloved Father. I watched his body deteriorate over the next 8 months, and I was at his bedside when he passed. I found pieces of the car the grill, a side mirror, the license plate, etc. She died of COPD. My life really feels over. Especially when retirement is in the near future. I cant write it but feel it and I feel it with you. is worse the waves of gut wrenching and still he doesnt appear. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can push myself to get past this hurdle. Wondering if others of you who are still grieving the loss of someone you loved very much, have been attacked like this, by so called friends, or family. This pain is not forever. Over the next few months I was in the hospital myself six times (not COVID related, though.) Theres nothing that the doctor could do for him he live nine days I think the when the doctor told her what was wrong it killed him knowing he was so bad and nothing that could be done. He was told he had six month and he lived shy two days of six months. You can keep and display it, give it to family members or friends, or donate it in memory of your beloved. I feel so selfish posting after reading these. com. happy again. At least in reading others words I feel that were not alone. 7 Surprising Facts About What Happens To Your Body When You Die Glenna had a massive stroke right after From the depths of old internet comments comes another incredible gem of a story. She was 96. My friends were there for us but- after a month or so, they go back to their own lives- and I totally get it!! I read a lot about near death experiences and it has helped a little bit. Psychiatrists want to put me on SSRIs and mood stabilizers because they believe I have bipolar disorder as a result of fluctuating moods. One year has passed since you left your princess and gone to heaven.

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